So, it’s finally the creepiest week of the year. The time has come to whip out the jar of sweets for *the Trick or Treaters (*for you to eat whilst half cut in just your pants and a Scream mask), cosy down, and flick on some freaky flicks.
WHAT TO WATCH THOUGH?
If you’re scrolling through Netflix and drawing a blank, have no fear: daddy Moog has some suggestions. Here you will find a selection of top spooky flicks for your different moods.
I’ve steered away from the obvious options like Halloween, Friday the 13th, and Nightmare on Elm Street – which is not a slander of their quality in the slightest! Definitely give a peep if you haven’t seen them. I just wanted to shed some light on some films you may have overlooked in the past.
Without further ado, here is a list of films you might have to change your pants after watching.
The International Spook:
– Martyrs (2008)
If you aren’t too white girl wasted and feel like you could still follow subtitles, I really suggest you check out Martyrs.
A French horror film, Martyrs explores the extent of which human beings may withstand torment, all in the name of religious enlightenment. This format leaves suitable leeway for the film to be brutally violent and distressing.
A film of two clear parts, Martyrs explores the paranormal, psychological and body horror you may just be craving this gruesome Halloween.
Side note: do not watch the American remake, it is actually pants.
Pee Inducing Paranormal:
– Ghost Stories (2017)
I went into viewing this movie a sceptic, and left extremely pleasantly surprised by this new flick in so many regards.
A storyline that is fully comprehensive, avoiding convoluted plot lines to create twists; gorgeous use of sets and lighting; an incredible use of sound. It is very evident that Ghost Stories started life as a stage show as every scene is filled to the brim with detail.
The cast were fantastic, heightening each tense moment, culminating in one of the most distressing endings in a modern horror film that I have seen in a long, long time.
The less you know about the plot, the better. Go in completely fresh. Do not let the title of the film fool you- this is not your average ghost flick.
– The Return of the Living Dead (1985)
If you’re more in the mood for a lighthearted romp than a balls to the wall fright fest, I definitely suggest The Return of the Living Dead.
A contender for the most 80’s looking film I’ve seen, The Return of the Living Dead is the perfect marriage of annoying teenagers with juicy brains to lots and LOTS of zombies. Set in a graveyard. It’s class.
Lots of tongue in cheek humour, lots of cool looking zombies, and easy to pop on in the background with your mates over.
Blood Suckin’ Blockbusters:
– Salem’s Lot (1979)
I have a real soft spot for this film because it’s one of my dad’s favourites.
Based on the book by Stephen King, Salem’s Lot explores a sleepy town with a spooky vampire problem. Complete with horrible floaty dickhead children and a massive scary vampire going by The Master, it’s a classic for fans of those with fangs.
Cannibals Eating People Like Candy:
– Green Inferno (2013)
This film is so gross. If you’re in the market for a cannibal film though, I think that’s exactly what you’re looking for.
A group of young people go into a jungle to protest against deforestation. Group of young people get spotted by tribe of cannibals. Group of young people get slowly picked off by cannibals in various horrible ways.
If you look past the obvious racism in the contents of the film, and see it as a homage to cinematic classics like Cannibal Holocaust, Green Inferno makes for very uncomfortable viewing. Great for Halloween – but not one to view whilst you’re eating.
High School Horrors:
– Excision (2012)
Following the misadventures of a college outcast with psychosexual delusions and aspirations of becoming a surgeon, Excision is a very unique film.
Although technically not a horror film, Excision features many gruesome dream sequences and upsetting scenes. Deeply thought provoking and darkly funny at times, it is certainly worth a viewing. Definitely a film that sticks with you long after the screen goes black.
The One To Watch Before The Remake:
– Suspiria (1977)
Suspiria is one of the best horror films around and I am extremely excited to watch the remake. However, it would break my heart for that to be your first exposure to the first of a horrible trilogy. The original is a masterpiece.
Set amidst a dance school, Suspiria chronicles a series of grizzly murders which slowly reveal to be supernatural in nature. Dario Argento’s signature of mixing bloody murder with high art results in set pieces of horrifying beauty.
The soundtrack also slaps and will give you goosebumps.
This Is Just Horrible Turn It Off:
– Guinea Pig: Flower Of Flesh And Blood (1985)
So those of you who know, know.
Flower of Flesh And Blood is one of several films in the Japanese Guinea Pig series, which grew in notoriety in the years due to its extreme violence.
The use of practical effects within the one hour film is outstanding, yet serves no other purpose than to revolt.
The storyline is very simple: a samurai slowly cuts up a woman whilst she’s still alive. That’s it. That’s literally the plot. There is barely any dialogue in there, if at all.
It’s a fake snuff film convincing enough that Charlie Sheen thought it was real and actually contacted the police on viewing.
So aye, that’s definitely a film to look at if you have absolutely nothing else you want to be at. It’s just really gross and the noises are horrible.
There’s also an American remake, going by Bouquet of Guts and Gore which may satiate any of you weird enough to want more of lady dissection (good news: there’s two people to carve up rather than one).
There you have it, there’s a quick little list of films that may tickle your fancy! I hope it’s of some use to you.
Have a fantastic Halloween, my lovely freaky friends!